Episode 43: Clubhouse

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Well, hey, everybody. Welcome to the 43rd episode of Don’t lose your balance. My name is Mallory Durrick. So if you already know what clubhouse is, this might be a little redundant for you. But if you don’t I would like to explain clubhouse because I think it’s such an important app and has such an impact on me over the last you know, it’s had a very big impact for me over the last year. So what is clubhouse? Well, at first, I didn’t know what clubhouse was in December of 2020. And only learn more about it in January of 2021. So we’re well into the pandemic and everybody on Facebook in the groups are talking about clubhouse and I’m thinking what the hell was clubhouse? So I looked it up. And I see that at the time it was by invitation only and only on iPhone. Okay, how was I getting into this? You know, secret club? Right? So I did a lot of reading in the groups people were saying what’s clubhouse? Do you think clubhouse is worth it? Why should I be in clubhouse? How do I get an invitation. And at the time, I wanted to be as much a part of clubhouse as everybody else. Clearly I wasn’t working, there were no clients. And so I was just, you know, reading about this wonderful audio only app for iPhone that I had to actually get an invitation to this party for. So I asked somebody who was in the Facebook group, and she provided me with an invitation, I was very, very grateful to her for doing that. So I get the invite, and I get inside a clubhouse. And I stumbled into a room. And I thought, Okay, this can be extremely predatory. If if I’m not careful, people are talking and chatting. And they’re talking about a lot of different things. The space was filled with a lot of the same faces. But the topics were all very different, the same group of people would go in from room to room to room, it’s not like the day, it’s not like it was then meaning it’s gotten a lot better the rooms have a time limit. Back in the day, when I first started, you could enter a room, let’s say on Monday morning for marketing. And that same room just with different people would be running that same room, never having closed it four days later, which is insane to think about that it just ran 24/7. I don’t know why nobody thought well, we can just close this room and start a new room. But they didn’t do that. And I’m not sure if it was intentional. Or if everybody just felt like wow, I’m really a part of something here. That’s awesome. And let me continue. And that’s what I did I, I would stay in this marketing room, or in a social room throughout the evening. And I might have even fallen asleep with the phone sitting on my nightstand. And I’d wake up in the morning and start my day with the same people. Some of them were gone. But we’ll come back. And some of them were still there. Because it might have been, you know, one o’clock in the morning in a different part of the world. Or it could have been the middle of the afternoon depending upon where somebody was, but the conversation would just continue and the people would get to know one another. And there was something very special about this, I could start to see that if you were included in the space of speakers, because you raise your hand and you wanted to share, you would get a little green badge, which is what we call a moderator badge. This I have spoken about in the past is a highly coveted little icon that you you would have on your you know, on your profile at the time you were speaking on the stage. I didn’t quite knew know what it meant. But I knew I mean, I knew what it meant. But I I really knew that it was a valuable thing to have because it gave you a level of maybe power and even of importance. And I still to this day wonder why the moderator badge was representative of something that signified knowledge, importance and value. Because what happens if you didn’t have that badge, which a lot of times happened and people would feel left out. And if they’re friends or people that they have supported on clubhouse, we’re on that stage with a green moderator badge, how come they didn’t have a badge. And so it became, it became so like the high school, you know, John Hughes films that we know about where, you know, if you’re at the cool kids table, you’ve got a green moderator badge sitting out the cool kids table. In here. We were adults, all over the world who were experiencing the same thing. And then there would be rooms on clubhouse that would be filled with drama, and relationships and people sharing things that I personally felt like, oh, I don’t know if if this is even something we should be sharing about. So publicly, but they they did it, there would be arguments, there would be conversations about race, there would be conversations about violence, there would be conversations about misogyny, and all kinds of conversations would be happening all over the world. And what was the reason for everybody being here? Well, some people wanted to grow their client base. And some people just wanted to be a part of something extraordinary. Some people wanted to be a part of something that was new, that might have been something that I was interested in and finding your finding your space was somewhat difficult to do, because you never wanted to really offend anybody, just like in life, and you really wanted to be included in the conversation. Just like in life, I didn’t necessarily want to be the one that was always on the outside looking in. It also fascinated me how the people who created spaces that were considered, you know, the more popular spaces would recognize whatever value they saw in another individual, give them the moderator badge and say that these were the speakers who were going to offer insight and advice in their respective fields, or business, or whatever the case may be, which I always found to be a little odd when I was selected to do that, because I thought, I’m no expert. I’m just somebody like anybody else sitting on this stage. And in this room, no better, no worse just with my own experiences. But I wasn’t the one who selected me. And clearly, whatever voice I could use to share what I knew I was more than happy to do that. And I was more than happy to offer my services to many people, just to, you know, share with them, what I could know what I did know, and what I could offer them without even having to charge them for it. While I appreciate the fact that clubhouse is an exceptionally good place to network, similarly to LinkedIn, or Instagram, or Facebook, this was the space and this was the space at the time. So during this time that I’m sharing all my marketing knowledge and my website knowledge, whatever I could, and I’d be inside of website rooms, even that I love being in because I could learn from them, you know, what’s a good hosting company, or what’s a great plugin for this solution that I’m looking for kind of like in Facebook groups that would help me but this one would be more immediate. I was asked to moderate a room on an a daily basis for gratitude. It was something that I was participating in that somebody else had created in their club, and I was in their room. And then I was invited to run the room in their club. And I did, I created the gratitude room and ran it for them. I didn’t create it. But they created it. And I ran it every day. And in the beginning it was mornings and then they shifted it to six o’clock at night. And that was about a year ago. And I thought this is awful. Nobody’s coming into this space. And nobody cares about this room. I care about this room. And there were two other people who cared about this room. And they said, you know, why don’t we run this room outside of this club? And I said, Well, I have a club. You know, it’s a marketing club. And it’s a stupid little thing, because there’s not many people who join it because I’ve never run anything in it except for the gratitude space. So I opened this app one day, and I read the stories and they follow it by a prompt. And I thought what if I subscribe to this app, and I read the story and read the prompt and everybody who’s in the room who wants to share will share. Okay, and that’s exactly what I did. And I I opened the room with the other two people who were moderators. And it was gratitude journal, and still is gratitude journal. 365 not unlike how people have, I guess, create, you know, gratitude journals for themselves. 30 days of gratitude, they set a goal for himself similar to what I talked about last week, and they stick with it. So now we had a club and we had a room and we had a title and we had a reason for opening up an app on a desktop Bowser or the you know, or your phone and I pay for this app. It’s not expensive, but it’s definitely worth it because it gives us something to think about other than okay, what are you grateful for today, because every topic can be a little bit different than the next one. Some of them are similar. Anyway, the two people who were moderators have since come and gone from moderating, more as frequently as they were one of them still continues to come in. And other moderators have come and gone, and that’s okay. And they’ve come and gone from clubhouse. But other people have come in to step into their shoes and define their own space for gratitude. And they’ve been there 300 and some odd days just like me, why am I sharing all of this? Well, when I talked a little bit about the community, and the ability to build a community online, I can’t neglect how valuable clubhouse has been in helping me achieve that. Even if it’s just for a few hours out of the week, you know, it’s 30 minutes, maybe an hour every morning, it used to be a very strict 30 minutes, it’s getting a little bit longer in the morning, between eight and 830, maybe 845 and weekends, it can go a little longer, I certainly want people to have a forum in which to share whatever they want to share. Sometimes it’s hard if I’ve got an appointment, and I gotta close out the room. But you know, people come in, they listen to gratitude, they share their gratitude, and then they go in other rooms. And so clubhouse doesn’t shut down just because our room shut down. And you can go in and out of these different rooms. And that’s what they’re called, I didn’t name them this, and listen to what people have to say about any and every topic imaginable. They could be a social room where they’re just catching up with one another. There are clubs that are for mothers who share the same, you know, feelings and space. And I am amazed at how these communities have been built around the world, especially using one app. Now, in the beginning, I mentioned something about well, it can be a little predatory. You know, today even somebody came into the room. And I don’t know there are a cryptocurrency trader, and they’re dropping some copy paste into the, into the chat that there is available as a group room chat on the app, which is very inappropriate. And I don’t know why people do that other than they think that somebody is going to say, oh, yeah, let me let me contact this person to see how I can buy cryptocurrency, then there are some people who just become inappropriate, and you can block them or remove them from your room. And the beauty also is that if you don’t like the conversation, you can just leave and not listen anymore. The value of clubhouse is so much more than the novelty that it wants demonstrated in January of 2021. In the beginning, it was a novelty and everybody was talking about oh my god, I love this so much. And I’m sure they still do in parts love it. And they love the doors that have opened for them. Other apps were created like fireside, and voices and Twitter spaces. And these are all audio spaces, they might have a little bit of a few different bells and whistles. And I get that and I’ve watched people move from clubhouse to these other apps. There’s nothing wrong with that clubhouse was sort of that entrance into their community, and how they would find their community. And then they also translate their whatever they may be selling or sharing or wanting to offer to the world. They can do it within within Instagram. And they can advertise it on other apps and they can be on fireside. And they can advertise it on other apps and they can invite the audience. But the root of it all for what where I’m sitting is that they all found it from clubhouse and that’s where they all started. And clubhouse had this great space for many, many people. But just as it was great for many people back in the day, it also became pretty awful and toxic for many people. And there was blocking and throwing people out of the rooms and people were acting like children and yet here we are adults behaving in a horrible way now that all of that is gone and I have not been on clubhouse as much as I used to be. But I see rooms that gets scheduled rooms that get recorded with permissions so you can listen to the replay and you can go back and listen similarly to a podcast and then go back and listen to what everybody else is saying. People have learned how to and this is probably great. One of my greatest takeaways. People have learned how to speak for however length of time they know is the right length of time before they know I guess I need to end this comfortable Don’t know how to stop in when they’re sharing something they don’t know where to stop when they’re talking. And then they just will let somebody else share. For me a few things that

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have also taken, I’ve taken away in a positive respect from clubhouse. And I’ve talked about this a million times is how to be a better speaker, it taught me how to have a podcast. You know, I figured if I just started to speak into a microphone, I could share whatever it was that I was thinking about, and then put it up on the internet. It also taught me how to be a better listener, and how to think before speaking or speaking over somebody. Because on clubhouse, since you’re talking into your phone, you cannot speak when somebody else is speaking or nobody gets heard, you’re not being heard, and the other people aren’t being heard. And nobody wants that. Even if there’s this awkward silence, it’s better than too many people talking, if I do go into a room, and I do hear many people talking, I just leave because now it’s just chatter and noise. But for the rooms that I want to really listen at, sometimes I’m just happy being under what they call the stage. And I’m just other another in the room, listening with no ability to unmute my microphone unless I and there’s an icon on the bottom right hand corner of the device where you can raise your hand. And if you have a moderator who allows you to come up, they can invite you to speak sometimes they’ll invite you to speak even if you’re not raising your hand. So they invite you to engage in the conversation in some spaces, they invite you to get a seat at the table. I imagine for many people the ability to utilize clubhouse to build their following and build their audience is a great one. I’ve seen people who built an audience of 50 75,000 followers, and they’re not on clubhouse anymore. They don’t even go on Instagram at all. And I’m thinking why? Or why did they put so much time to invest in all of this? Well, I don’t know what their goal was. Maybe it was just to fill the time. And to fill the space. during a pandemic, when everybody was home doing the same thing. And to enjoy the conversation. I notice that friendships, you know, come and go on clubhouse loyalty comes and goes on clubhouse, just like in life, the gratitude space, I speak so fondly of because it’s been a part of me for the year almost,

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I’m down to the last you know, 40 days, and I am really or 50 days, somewhere in there. I’m really grateful to the people who come in, even if it’s a small space, because they’re the familiar faces. They know me and I begin to know them. You know, the the the beauty of clubhouse is that it goes with a lot of the topics that I’ve been talking about, like community like goals I had to share. When I went through my own personal crisis last year, again, I had to share to come clean with myself about all my little demons about my addiction. And I did it on clubhouse with a bunch of strangers that actually learned to get to know me, which I find extraordinary. So you know, if somebody is looking or listening to this podcast, whether it’s for the first time, or it’s the 42nd time, you know, clubhouses a lot of things. And if it isn’t one thing, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened for me only because so much came from being inside the space. So much happened for from what I could learn about myself and about other people. And I am so amazed that an audio app had this impact, not because it got me clients, despite the fact that it did. And not because it got me friends, despite the fact that it did. But because of everything I didn’t really know about myself, or if I did, I finally had the opportunity to vocalize it. And I took it even another step further than that. I created a podcast to really get there and I share all these episodes for myself. I listened back they have such value to me. I hope they do have the same value for others, you know, and as I get closer to the end of these recordings, I feel not only like a sense of relief that Yeah, you did it. You did another episode, but you shared another piece of yourself that might help somebody else. And if I didn’t have clubhouse I can tell you 100% Without clubhouse this podcast would cease to exist, because I never would have gotten so truthful and vocal about how I felt and for all the people who come into the gratitude space, and you all know who you are. I am each heartily grateful to all of you. And I think you know that. And I want you to know that when you come in, I hear you. And I read your bios, and I look at what you do and how you do things for people and what you are passionate about. And I may never have spoken to another person. And I’ll still read that bio. And if I follow you, it’s because I actually liked what I read. If I follow you, it’s sometimes also because I like what I heard, I don’t have an agenda. That is, for my own personal gain. When I come into clubhouse, I do it because it’s an agenda for all, we all have the same agenda. We want to grow and develop and build our relationships, you know, and to Paul and Rohan, who created this app. Thank you. Thank you for creating such a marvelous app that I can access it anytime, 24 hours a day, seven days a week from my device, and be a part of a community that has taught me a lot about them. But it’s also taught me a lot about myself, and 59 years old. I wish it was there a long time ago, but it’s here now and I’m here to stay. Okay, well if you’d like this or any other episode of Don’t lose your balance. You can share it you can download it you can even write me a review. I also have a website, which is Don’t lose your balance.com and I have two handles on Instagram. One is Mallory underscore direct and the other is Don’t lose your balance. MSD this Mary Sam David, I hope today tomorrow it always you don’t lose your balance and I look forward to hearing how you didn’t lose your balance along your life’s journey. And I’ll see you next time.

Hi, I am Mallory Durrick. I am a creative. A Marketing Strategist and Web Designer with a small and modest boutique Marketing Agency living in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I am the creator and narrator of this podcast, Don’t Lose Your Balance. This is a culmination of decades of self-help books, countless doctors, numerous hospitals, including rehabs. Once a wife, now divorced, a mother, a grandmother and an addict in recovery. These are things that I am and have experienced.

I’m sharing it all. Baring it all. Hoping to help others; not lose their balance.